Using requested names and pronouns

[entanglingbriars]

I've been of the opinion for a long time that the proper name for a person or group is what they ask you to call them and that by extension the proper pronouns for a person are the ones they ask you to use. However, in the past several months I've had a new experience; of fundamentally not wanting to use a requested name, of feeling that the request to do so is an unreasonable imposition. It's been an unpleasant experience. I stopped identifying as nonbinary in part because there were people who deliberately misgendered me and considered using the/them pronouns an unreasonable imposition. I considered that response rude and disingenuous. And yet, here I am.

In November 2018 The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints requested that it no longer be referred to as the "Mormon Church," "Mormonism," or "LDS"; that its members be called "members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints," not "Mormons." If we must abridge the name of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints they suggest "the Church," ""Church of Jesus Christ," or the "restored Church of Jesus Christ" as alternatives. The key, for President Nelson, is that the name Jesus Christ be centered when referring to the Church (I'm not sure, given that, why "the Church" is acceptable but "LDS" is not, but that's not really my business).

I feel this is an unreasonable imposition for several reasons, but ultimately my reasons shouldn't matter. If I wish to maintain integrity I need to refer to the restored Church of Jesus Christ by the name they've asked me to use. The fact that I don't believe the restored Church of Jesus Christ is actually a restoration of anything, that I consider using "Church of Jesus Christ" to be unnecessarily vague, that I think "The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints" is impractically long... none of these should matter. I should respect the name the restored Church of Jesus Christ has requested I use.

Either that, or I stop thinking that misgendering and deadnaming trans people is wrong. Because I can't maintain moral integrity while believing it's okay to request a specific name in one case and ridiculous in another.

Comments

[alexseanchai]

So they should be angling to get people to call them "the Restored Church", I'd think. Or the RCJC. (I think, absent this post, I'd have to google who was meant, but I'd certainly know it isn't the Catholics.) But that doesn't sound like what they're doing.